Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Squeaky Bottom Time

Okay, now that I've become a full-time part-time publisher I'm finally ready to roll out the first phase of my Harry Potter-lite International Book Marketing Strategy.

Basically, what I need to do first is generate some word-of-mouth excitement in the blogosphere. Enough to entice a few shills actually to buy a copy with their own hard-earned cash. (Note: This book is definitely NOT suitable as a present. Especially if you know - and like - the intended recipient.)

To achieve the necessary level of iPod-like desirability that will send it winging from my hallway and around the globe I'm going to send out review copies of A Half Life Of One to as many of the movers and shakers in the blogosphere and beyond as I can think of.

This is of course a high-risk strategy since the inherent problem with self-publishing - the absence of any objective quality assessment as to the book's merits - is that the book may actually be A HUGE PILE OF CRAP. However, on the off-chance that it isn't and that I'll actually attain literary immortality (as well as the pressing necessity of shifting the daunting pile of unsold books that are blocking up the hallway) it's a step I have to take. After that it's just a question of waiting nervously for the reviews to roll in. At which point it's likely to be me that's doing the moving and shaking.

If you're sadistic enough to think you want to be part of this archaic and inhumane process feel free to e-mail me for your review copy. If you haven't the stomach to pull the trigger yourself, let me know of anyone else who might be bloodyminded enough to want a copy. You need to hurry though. Once the reviews start appearing this could be the shortest book launch on record.

And to think that I entered the publishing racket thinking it might actually be fun.


  1. Pundy, Pundy, Pundy, do you really wish to feel the sharp end of my pointy stick again?

    I have a small and tiny feeling that this strategy may not be exactly what you wanted to say. The unsold HUGE PILE OF CRAP, that will never make a Christmas list, deserves a slightly different marketing angle.
    I think the solution you are looking for is to offer a buy-one-get-both-free sort of a thing, or possibly offer sexual favours in lieu of a sale.
    Worked for me!

  2. Hi Minx

    At the risk of being prodded by your pointy stick I'm afraid I can't exactly agree with your suggested sales strategy.

    Take a look at my portrait on the blog. If I offered sexual favours in lieu of a sale I might just as well petition for bankruptcy right now.

    The buy-one-get-one-free (known in the trade as BOGOF) has some merit. Perhaps buy-one-read-it-get-your-money-back (BORIGYMB)is the way to go.

  3. I think you forgot to take your Positive pills this morning!

  4. Psst, Minx. I don't think Pund knows about the positive pills ...

  5. But I can't accept a copy because I'm not on your list of favourite blogs so it wouldn't be right because they've told us this week it's scratchy back stuff this book reviewing lark. Mine would be a completely independent and unbiased review, surely that's not what you want:-)

  6. I think I'd prefer to just buy it and read it, Pundy, without having the condition that I review it. When it's people I know - we kind of know each other - I want to know that I'm free to only put up a review if it is a positive review. If it wasn't positive, I wouldn't put it up. When it's people I don't know, I don't worry about what I put up. Complicated? Yes. Now that I've let you in on this, I wouldn't put anything up after reading your book. I would only give you feedback in private, if you asked for it.

  7. jennydiski3:52 pm