Third degree Burns

This Saturday we're taking a few friends to the local Burns' Night in the village.

So I'll do my bit for literature by having a few glasses of claret beforehand, walk down to the hall in the dark, eat haggis, drink more wine, listen to the tales of the bard, drink whisky, dance, drink more whisky, drink beer, go back to whisky, try some more wine, switch back to whisky.

Then I'll stagger out into the darkness, absolutely blazing drunk.

This is what we call a literary soiree in Scotland. I expect Burns would approve.