Friday, March 17, 2006

Funny old world

In the curious, make-believe part of the literary world which I occasionally inhabit everything isn't always what it seems. For example, I cherish the illusion that readers of my novel, A Half Life of One, are discerning aesthetes, serious types in search of a life-enhancing read.

Well, one of the interesting features of of the visitor tracking statistics that I have embedded in my blogs is that it will sometimes tell you why visitors have arrived where they have. Quite often they come via Google. Because they have typed in a query. You might expect queries like "Modern literary masterpiece" or "Gloomy but interesting read" or "Something I can't put down" and so on from the type of readers I expect to attract.

But how about "Suffocated to death after the woman sat on his face"?

I don't know who was more surprised after this person's visit. Me because he ended up reading my book in which at no time does anybody sit on anyone's face.

Or him (I think it must have been a him, don't you) when he discovered the literary sensation of the last six months.

Must have been him, I think, because he only read a couple of sentences before he scarpered.

Which is exactly what I must do. Down to the bank to borrow another million to expand the business.

Funny old world, though, isn't it?


  1. Terrific hook, though...

    Googled "Suffocated...", just for laughs, and, besides leaving the phrase in my search history, got no results, so the glitch is now fixed.

    Might be a strategy, no? Salt your text with naughty phrases for Google to suck up and disseminate? But there I go talking dirty again...

  2. Well, for a while there I was trying to work "dirty" words into my post headings, just out of devilment really. And of course, as ever, to try and get a laugh. You know "Topless", "You prick" etc. I thought they were hilarious. Trouble is they come to dominate your thinking and you start getting ruder and ruder...
    As you say, though, might be a good strategy. Perhaps I should change the blog title to "View From The Whorehouse" for a start.