We live out in the country with our two cats. A mother and her daughter, they go in and out the house at will through the catflap. Unfortunately, so too does the occasional feline visitor.
This morning at three o'clock I was wakened by the most terrifying racket. Honestly, I thought it was a burglar falling down the stairs.
Immediately afterwards I lay wide awake listening to what sounded like someone being strangled. My first thought was that the burglar had got his head caught in the bannister and was choking to death. My second was, Gee, are we insured for that?
At this point my wife pushed me out of bed, rather roughly I thought. "Find out what the hell's happening!" she hissed.
I hardly had time to wonder Why me? as I grabbed my dressing gown and stumbled out onto the landing. At that moment the house was filled with what sounded like the death rattlings of some unimaginable, unearthly creature. I felt the hairs standing up on the back of my neck. It took me several frantic minutes to track down the whereabouts of this wailing banshee. The source of the commotion turned out to be our eldest cat, hiding behind the curtains on the upper landing. She was absolutely terrified, shaking like a leaf.
There was no sign of any visitor. Our youngest cat, a born coward, had disappeared. She was probably hightailing it to the next county.
We both tried to comfort the cat but to no avail. Eventually we went back to bed but it was impossible to sleep as the cat persisted with her attempts to summon her ancestors from the spirit world.
Anyway, the net result is that I'm exhausted. I'm also late for work and this is the last post for the time being.
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