Tuesday, October 31, 2006

A Really Sad Story

There's a really sad story being revealed among the Comments section of John Baker's Blog. The details are a bit confusing but he seems to have fallen in love with a hermaphrodite when he was up in Aberdeen many years ago. The hermaphrodite is now a man and, it appears, is still in love with John. It's impossible to predict how it's all going to turn out, but I fear the worst.

John is being remarkably brave about the situation and he even makes a "joke" about it. Sadly, his real feelings are all too obvious and the joke rather misses its target.

I was almost in tears when I read his response.

On a more optimistic note John has an interesting new post about the use of humour in fiction. It sounds like he knows what he's talking about. We can only wish him well in his current situation.


  1. This guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Alsatian for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and finds a sheep sitting there.

    "So. You talk?"


    "Damn all. What's your story?"

    The sheep looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

    The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

    The owner says "Ten dollars."

    The guy says he'll buy him but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him?"

    The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He's no Alsatian. He's a goddamned sheep. And he never did any of that stuff."

  2. Hi jta. What an interesting story. As you know, I like sheep. In my experience they are often underestimated.

    A well-bred sheep, a Blackface or a Cheviot say, will rarely let you down, given the appropriate circumstances. Of course, it might be different in America. A lot of things are, apparently.

  3. Sorry about the wheeze, Bill. I couldn't stop myself.
    I sort of like sheep too, up to a point. I'm not familiar with Blackface, though I see they're used mostly for crossbreeding. We do have Cheviots here I believe, imported quite awhile back, and I understand they do quite well, hardy and well-muscled as they are. What I don't get is how they might "let you down." What exactly are the right circumstances?

  4. Hi, jta. Don't worry about the wheeze. I myself have a cough at the moment.

    Er, "the right circumstances"? Erm, I've always tried to be frank and honest on this blog, as you know but...The thing is, it's a bit embarrassing. Beside which, sheep have feelings too, don't they.

  5. Daddy1:08 pm

    I feel very sad for John Baker. I've been to his blog once or twice, but marked him down as a elitist snob. My apologies, John. I'm on my knees begging your forgiveness. Just goes to show how really WRONG I am capable of being.

    Now this sheep thing, though...hmmm...I don't think I'm WRONG in my understanding of this little item. Which is why VFTPH rocks! And rules!

    Great joke!

  6. Anonymous3:36 pm

    Please don't do another of these for a while, me ribs are still hurting....

  7. Daddy, I should stress, in case there's any misunderstanding here, that I like sheep on a purely intellectual level. There's absolutely nothing physical about my admiration. In fact, I find most Scottish sheep peculiarly unattractive. Although I suppose you shouldn't judge a sheep by its fleece. Unless, that is, you're planning to turn it into a coat.

  8. I feel very sad for John Baker. I've been to his blog once or twice, but marked him down as a elitist snob.
    Thanks, Daddy. Unfortunately you're right. That is one of my extremes. You don't want to hear about the others, you already know far too much.

  9. In the words of Sorry Old Bob (per Maria Muldaur):

    Ghengis Khan, he could not keep
    All his kings supplied with sheep,
    We'll climb that hill
    No matter how steep
    After we're long past it.

    Ooh wee, ride me high
    Tomorrow's the day my bride's gonna come
    Ooh wee, we gonna fly
    Down in the easy chair

    Words to live by...

  10. daddy, don't misjudge John Baker. He's a bright guy but I know he's no kind of snob. Better than that, he's got a sense of humour - and he's proved it.

    In addition, his insights into novel writing are the best around. And I'm not talking about syntax, or adverbs or that sort of stuff. He's on a different level to just about everybody else out there.