Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Me and William Shakespeare

Poor old Bill Shakespeare. You've got to feel sorry for him, haven't you. I mean, dying when he did he just missed out on the blogging phenomenon.

Imagine how much better he would have been as a writer if he'd had his own blog and had the benefit of shedloads of sagacious advice and comments from all his readers. Oh, don't bother, I've done it for you. His blog is called The View From The Summit (wonder where he stole that from?). Here's a selection of comments from his readers:


Hi Bill

Went to see Hamlet last night (couldn't get tickets for The History Boys, all sold out unfortunately). Not bad. But your hero - what a sap. Give me George Clooney any day.


Yo Bill!

What is it with you and those extended metaphors? Kiss! Kiss!! (Keep it simple stupid!)

stay cool



Hi Mr Shakespeare!

Doing Macbeth at school. Not bad! Don't give up your day job though! (What is your day job incidentally? I've got to write an essay about you at school and I can't find out ANYTHING about your early life. E-mail me with details. Thanks!)

Banger (Form V)


Hello there Mr Shakespeare

Have you really met Queen Elizabeth? Does she really have a wig? And is Prince Charles as daft as he looks?


Doris (73)


Greetings Mr Shakespeare

I am reading Julius Caesar as part of my first year course at University. I have to say I am finding it a bit dull. History doesn't have to be that way you know. Look at the Da Vinci Code. That's incredibly exciting AND it's well written too.

kind regards

Janice Puddock


Hi there Mr Shakespeare

I have read and admired your works for many years. Your use of language (especially metaphor) is breathtaking. Hamlet is one of my favourite plays.

I wonder if you would mind taking a look at the first three chapters of my novel A Half Life of One and giving me your opinion.

Many thanks in anticipation.



You're the man Bill!!!

Take a look at my video production of Romeo and Juliet over on Myspace!! That's my girlfriend playing the lead. I've had to edit her part to make it more prominent but I think you'll agree it's a big improvement.

Keep on writing!

Marlon Twitt


Hello Mr Shakespeare

Did you really write Titus Andronicus? Honest answer please. I have a big bet on with several of my colleagues in the Senior Common Room.


Ron Snot


Hello there, William

Why so coy? I've been reading those Sonnets of yours and believe me I know exactly where you're coming from (pun intended!)!!!

Loosen up, Willy, this is the 21st century. Come out from behind that arras! And I do mean come out! You won't be alone!!!




Hi Bill

Love your blog! If you suffer from penile dysfunction take a look at my site www.upstandingproud.com. I guarantee you'll find something there that will put the lead back in your pencil!

John Thomas

Hi Will

Read your play Hamlet last night after Big Brother finished. Great, but there is a typo when Hamlet says "Oh that this too too solid flesh should melt". Should be "sordid".

Stiff letter to your proofreader I think.

Best wishes

Hazel Smirk


Yep, no doubt about it. With bloggers like us to help him he could have made it big time.


  1. Love it! Just wafting off now,

  2. Shake-a-speare-at-it9:15 pm

    Hi Will,
    was a bit naffed off with the poncy characterisation in Midsummers Nights Whatnot - and the casting crew ought to have been shot when they picked Michelle Pfeiffer for Titania, bit wet if you ask me! Stanley Tucci ruled though!
    Helena Bunham Farter

  3. Ann Hathaway12:13 am

    So this is what you've been up to!

  4. You and who?

    --F Bacon

  5. That Minx, you can't keep her away.
    My kids have just been watching HBF as lady jane grey and were transfixed. Now blubbing away.

  6. Oh yeah, that Bacon. No bed for him, eh?!

    (Minx, come out from under there! I know you are lurking)