Sorry about that. The keyboard got jammed. It's all gummed up. As I was saying. The house was empty. My wife was at work. I was alone in my study ogling the screen while having a w...
Voice in the ether: Excuse me.
Me: What the fuck!
Voice: Excuse me!
Me: Who is it?
Voice: One of your readers.
Me (groans): Which one? Not the Minx?
Voice: No. I'm anonymous.
Me: Oh, the other one. I know you. What do you want?
Voice: I can smell something fishy.
Me: That's not fish.
Voice: There's something wrong with this post.
Me: It's not the grammar thing again, is it?
Voice: No. This post is not in its correct chronological sequence. Blogs don't work like that. What you're writing about hasn't happened yet.
Me: Yes it has. Read the previous post.
Voice: This is a joke!
Me: I resent that. This is a deeply serious middle-brow literary blog. Even the jokes aren't funny.
Voice: This is a blog not a novel. You can't do this!
Me: Fuck off.
Voice: Oh, there you go again, resorting to...ooof!
Me (having punched the voice in the mouth): Now where was I? Oh yes. As I was saying:
The house was empty. My wife was at work. I was alone in my study ogling the computer screen while having a wholemeal egg mayonnaise sandwich when I had this brilliant idea for my next post.
And just as soon as I clean all this mayo out of the keyboard I'll paste it up for you both to admire.
Unless of course there has been a timeshift as Anonymous alleges. In which case you've probably already read it.