Like most of the known world I've had a go at reading the Da Vinci Code. What can I say? It's got a plot. Sort of. A farrago of cod-religious mumbo jumbo. I sort of finished it too. Well, I skimmed through it to find out what happens at the end.
The thing is, it's just the clunkiest book I've ever not read. The way Dan Brown drops bits of explication into the narrative is shameless. You can hear them hitting the pages with a dull thud.
Believe me, I know all about bad writing. I mean, I'm the guy who wrote A Half Life Of One ("lifeless, plodding, unremittingly gloomy") for Christ's sake.
So how come he outsold me? I blame the readers. How could you? Don't you guys have any self-respect?