I don't believe in God.
Steady on. Calm down. I'm not saying there isn't one. Or several for that matter. I'm just saying I don't believe in Him/Her.
It's that old thing about self-determination and free will that gets me. Why go to all the bother of creating the Universe and everything just to put a few billion humans on it and see how they turn out? I mean, come on. If you're God you know the answer in advance, right. Besides, it isn't fair. We're on trial for a hundred years max and then we spend the rest of eternity in Hell? That length of punishment is entirely disproportionate to the crime. For most of us, at least.
So save yourself the bother, God. Stop faffing around and send us straight to heaven or hell in advance, would you. No-one will complain. And a few hundred million people won't have to go through the appalling suffering your little game has created.
Of course if there is a God, just by saying this I've condemned myself out of my own mouth. Oh, well. Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe.
Or, in my case, what you don't believe.